Red Invites Stephanie to the Veranda

If you guessed that Stephanie is Stephanie Plum, you’re brilliant! (In case there’s anyone out there who hasn’t heard of Stephanie Plum, she’s the main character in a series of hilarious novels about a female bounty hunter, written by Janet Evanovich). Red was feeling pretty good about readers and reviewers saying she reminded them of an older Stephanie Plum (well, she wasn’t thrilled about the older part, but still) so, she flew off into that other world where fictional characters hang out, found The Berg – where Stephanie lives – and dropped by to invite her over to The Veranda.

Stephanie, being totally cool, didn’t diss Red, but instead she said she would have to talk with Janet and see if she could fit us in her calendar. Obviously, it wouldn’t work for Stephanie to stop by without Janet, right? I mean, I wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgewise without Janet there to discuss the finer points of character creation.

Anyway, Red and I were sitting on the Veranda, imagining the whole thing. It went like this:

Red: (very excited) So, if Stephanie and Janet do come over I think we should introduce them to your killer Bloody Marys.

Kathy: Well, I think Janet would probably dig them, but Stephanie strikes me as more of a beer kind of girl to me.

Red: Hey, beer sheemer. Nobody can resist your Bloody Marys.

Kathy: Okay, okay – happy to oblige!

Red: Can’t you just imagine it? Stephanie and me. It’s like having a kick-ass little sister. Of course, when I stopped by her apartment, Joe Morelli was there on the couch eating pizza and I kind of got distracted when Stephanie was talking to me.

Kathy: I can imagine! Was Ranger there, too?

Red: Not right away, but when I was pulling out of the driveway in Lucy (Red’s 1963 cherry red VW bug) he was pulling in. He was driving a black Porsche Carrera. I motioned for him to roll down the window, because he had that black film stuff on it. He did it! And then he looked at me over these smoking sunglasses with those midnight eyes. I managed to squeak out something goofy and he smiled and said, "Babe" and drove away. Oooh, baby – if it wasn’t for my Joe, I would have invited him back to Veranda!

Kathy: Cool down girl. Sounds like you had a great trip to New Jersey. How do you characters do that? I mean, it’s a long way to New Jersey from Northern California in real life.

Red: (shrugging off-handedly) Oh, we just think ourselves there.

Kathy: (to herself) Wow! That saves a lot on gas.

Red: Anyway – I really like that girl! We are going to have so much fun when they visit.

Kathy: I think Janet and I would have a good talk, too. But you do realize they might never show up at the Veranda. I mean, Janet’s kind of busy.

Red: Well, once you’ve published the sequel, she may be more inclined to come over – hint, hint!

Kathy: Yes, yes, I know - the sequel, the sequel. If I want to be friends with Janet Evanovich, I’m going to have to start pumping out sequels a heck of a lot faster.

Red: Right! (I threw her a snarky look)

Red again: (Shrugging) I’m just saying.