Friday, May 11, 2012

Barbie - The Man-Eater

Red and I had this long conversation about inviting Barbie (the bimbo), from Red is an Attitude, to the Veranda and came to the conclusion that it would ruin the sanctity of our peaceful place to invite a woman we both consider a man-eater to join us on the Veranda. Therefore we did what any sane female would do when faced with a dilemma like this - we decided to talk about her instead!

Red: Seriously, she would have completely destroyed the karma of this spot with her floozy ways. All that blonde hair and exposed skin would generate a meltdown.

Kathy: Well, I remember she actively tried to add Joe to her trophy case. 

Red: Absolutely! And she was well on the way to breaking up Aggie's marriage. I mean, what would it say about us if we encouraged her by giving her the grand invitation to our sacred spot?

Kathy: I get your point. How about I just add a clip from the book in here so the readers can get the picture?

Red: Good idea – take it away.

Excerpt from Red is an Attitude:

My reverie was disturbed and my mind was drawn back to the ship when, suddenly, Mac leaned forward, his uncut ears perked and his nose wrinkling with the effort to locate a smell, when a couple of Labradors came out of the door to the ship’s doggy cafĂ©, Treats. There was a white female; quite a bit less muscled than her coal black male companion. The owner, who struggled to manage the two on separate leashes, was a lean and tanned blonde, a long-legged beauty with an impossibly narrow waist in a teeny white bikini. My love, Joe, had perked up, too and was watching “Barbie” trot her two pooches across the deck and right by our cluster of lounge chairs. 

I reached over and subtly punched Joe. I couldn’t do anything about Mac, except clutch his leash in my hand and hope he wouldn’t take off after the white Lab. 

I needn’t have worried. The lab liked what she saw and headed straight for Mac. 

“Indy! Indy, girl. Hold on,” Barbie hollered, ineffectually. She tossed her long locks over her shoulder and smiled a little too widely at Joe. 

“Sorry, about that!” Aiming her words not at me, the one holding the leash, but at my man.

Joe smiled back, “No problem.”

I piped up with a bit of an edge to my voice. “Yeah, I’ve got Mac under control here. If she’s Indy, who’s he?” I asked indicating the charcoal stud attached to her other hand.

She giggled. Of course, she did. “That’s Cabo! He’s just a big lug. They’re brother and sister – well, half-brother and sister. Two different litters and different daddies, but the same Mom.” She finished with a flash of white, which blinded me for a minute, but I was assuming it was her teeth. 

“Good thing they’re related, so Cabo won’t mind that Mac looks interested in Indy,” Joe threw in with an obnoxiously sexy grin. 

Both Barbie and I checked them out. It was definitely mutual. There was the usual sniffing going on and I could have sworn Mac smiled. Dogs do, you know. Smile, I mean. I decided if Mac and Indy were going to be dating, I should introduce myself to her owner. I stuck my hand out towards Barbie, who seemed surprised but shook it. 

“I’m Lydia Talbot. Most people call me Red,” I said.

She took in my flaming mass of wild hair and answered, “I can see why! I’m Cindi,” then she turned her attention back to Joe. “And you are?”

Joe nearly stumbled over himself, lifting his butt out of the chaise. But he finally stood and extended his hand, too. “Joe. I’m Joe.”

Cindi’s next question threw me. 

“Are you here by yourself?” she asked him. 

I looked around to make sure I wasn’t invisible and finally back at her when I noticed a guy along the railing checking me out, proof positive I wasn’t undetectable. I left it to Joe to find his way out of this one. He gulped, glanced my way and answered as firmly as he could manage.

“Nope, this fine woman is my lady.” He had recovered nicely. 

“Too bad,” she answered, smiling at me acidly. “No offense.”

“None taken. I’m more into developing a defensive strategy,” I answered with a frozen smile. 

She giggled again, pretending not to understand my reference, tossed that golden mane and tugged at her two companions.

“Come on, Indy. Cabo,” she urged as she waltzed off, watched by hoards of men, young and old alike.

“Well, she’s something!” I declared, emphatically.

Joe shook his head, “Isn’t she though? I wonder if Dad’s spotted her, yet.”

“He’s with Evelyn,” I answered indignantly. 

“Doesn’t keep him from looking. It’ll be good for his heart.”

I huffed a little and reached down to pat Mac.

“You still love me, don’t you, boy?”

Mac was too busy looking longingly after Indy to give me the lick on the cheek this question usually elicited. Damn! Lost both my boys in one fell swoop.


See what we mean?????????


  1. You both are soooo bad! But you are right, having here on the Veranda just wouldn't work, not when talking about her is soooooo much more fun! :-)

  2. Wow, Cindi is really something else! I am glad that she is not enjoying Bloodies on the veranda with you. She sounds like T-R-O-U-B-L-E! I can't wait until I get to read "Red Is An Attitude" so I can get the full scoop!

    Hugs ya'll,


    1. LOL - she totally is trouble. And a fun villainess to write! Can't wait for you to read it either.

  3. I can never find a girl like that-- probably a good thing, lol

  4. LOL - you can easily see why she caused so much trouble.

  5. I'm glad you didn't invite her to the veranda, KLH! It's good to be cordial, but that doesn't mean that you have to hang out with the Barbies of the world. What a rude woman! Good thing Joe appreciates the strong woman he has. I'll always be on #TeamRed.

  6. Red said to thank you for your vote of confidence! #TeamRed - hmmm a new hashtag for our tweets, me thinks!